J.D. Crabtree: It’s finally here, the only reading you need on this college basketball season.
The Adam Morrison Man of the Year
An award for the college player most likely to win over the hearts of diehard fans, and aging network announcers.
Corey Kispert – Gonzaga Bulldogs
Hailing from the university that spawned the award, Corey has gym rat pundits across the land salivating over his “unselfish play”, while somehow still taking a lot of shots. Floor slaps. High fives. Upperclassmen respect. He will run away with this award.
The institute with its Last Chance to Dance
It won’t shut down the program, but missing March Madness will send this fanbase into an expectation-fueled frenzy.
UCLA Bruins
It has been a while since the 2006-2008 Final Four runs under Ben Howland, and it has been a very long time since the John Wooden era when they most likely paid the best athletes on the planet to come there for 10 championships in a row (or whatever string it was that would never be replicated in the 21st century). But UCLA has created this lofted bed, so they will lie in it till the end of time. It is national championship or bust for their loyal (aging) fanbase, and missing another NCAA tournament causes that percentage chance to creep down to zero.
With an unlimited talent pool and funds, UCLA must be in the March Madness field or the alumni equivalent of Hell’s Angels will be scorching Mick Cronin all over Twitter.
The Princess Bride
The closest thing to a star, without anyone ever calling them one. Their proximity to royalty is a heavy factor.
Wendell Moore – Duke Blue Devils
If Wendell declared for the draft every year, and three other five star teammates did the same day, was anyone around to hear it?
The Boy with Apple
The treasure we all seek.
There was a tie this year. There were two boys with apples.
Ochai Agbaji – Kansas Jayhawks
Yves Pons – Tennessee Volunteers
Both Ochai and Yves have out of shape fans stating:
“He is strong.”
Most likely to yell “Deus Hoc Vult” or “There is no land for us beyond the Volga.”
We all know that one guy!
Matt Garza – Iowa Hawkeyes
Why would someone ever say that in Division 1 basketball? But we look the other way as Garza accumulates double-double after double-double in the midwest.
The Pursuit of Happyness Post of the Year
An award showing love to the big men out there patrolling the paint. Cleaning up the trash. Protecting the rim. Washing the dishes. Setting up the charcuterie board.Taking your sister out for a date. Never calling her back. Climbing out of massive credit card debt. You know, doing the little things to make the team go.
Charles Bassey – Western Kentucky Hilltoppers
Like your parents tried to tell you, life isn’t about three pointers and Instagram followers. It’s about hard work. And doing the things you don’t always want to do. Like rebounding. Or having to play back-to-the-basket offense.
Mr. Bassey is wise beyond his years and peers. He will raise a tall, hard-working family one day – I can guarantee that.
The Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl
A game that might as well be meaningless but is still televised and has financial backing.
UConn Huskies vs Georgetown Hoyas
Sun, Dec 13th, 7:30 PM EST
O how we might not care one bit. These two HiStOrIc programs can’t seem to find ground to stand on in this new era of college ball. I certainly won’t be watching.
TikTok’s Tier 1 Target
Which player has the greatest potential for mass social media followings, and potential bans.
Fatts Russell – Rhode Island Rams
Now in his senior season, Fatts must make an important career decision once the Rams get knocked out in the second round:
1) Professional basketball overseas
2) Double down on a TikTok niche and move to Brooklyn
But you can’t do both Fatts.
A Deep Blue Blood
Who has the deepest, bluest blood of the mighty programs that have manipulated defined the game for decades.
The traditionalists will tell you a basketball blue blood is either Kansas, Duke, UCLA, or Kentucky.
But society must progress, and we must be more fluid with this list. Besides, I am very much not interested in who had success between 1950-1980, a time period that I’m sure was full of corruption, racial bias, and extremely bland styles of basketball.
Michigan State is a modern day blue blood. Michigan State has not missed an NCAA Tournament since 1997, current Coach Tom Izzo’s second season. Since 1997, the Spartans have won at least 18 games every year and have never posted a losing record in league play. Izzo has been to eight final fours, one of which led to a championship. And he also made his way to the title game in 2008-09. The Spartans have won 25 games or more 13 times during his tenure and have nine conference championship pelts on their wall.
I’m tired of defending them to no one who has argued with me yet. Let’s talk about the team.
The Spartans are deep, starting with where you want to be deepest: guards.
My Super Sweet 16
The metric defining every program’s success. Did you, or did you not, get to a Sweet 16?
Baylor
Gonzaga
Villanova
Tennessee
Illinois
Michigan State
Wisconsin
Louisville
Vermont
North Carolina
West Virginia
Kansas
Texas Tech
Virginia
Creighton
Oregon
Whatever you do, don’t check back on this list once we get to that round.
Tennessee Volunteers Preview
I make the rules! I get to have a sole review of my team!
Tennessee Volunteers
Fresh off their first win, with no losses, Tennessee remains the only complete team in collegiate basketball.
They have the power (John Fulkerson, E.J. Anosike, Uros Plasvic).
They have the finesse (Santiago Vescovi, Victor Bailey, Josiah-Jordan James).
They have the youth (Keon Johnson, Jaden Springer).
They have the boy with apple (Yves Pons).
In these uncertain times, we have a pure product walking amongst the land. And they burn bright with orange on ESPN+ and the SEC Network twice a week.
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